Time

In every relationship, the road can be rocky...nothing is ever perfect. After carefully reviewing a persons character, background and goals for the future we step out on faith and hope that we have met the right person.

Time seems to fly by in the beginning and before you know it your life has changed completely . You've included this person in your every thought. You put their needs [sometimes] ahead of your own and you give your all to show how much you appreciate that person.

Time slows down during the not so happy times and almost pauses when you have reached a breaking point. You seem to argue about the smallest things. The things that originally made you smile, makes you frown. The fighting is bad but once more time passes ... it disappears. The cycle starts over again.

After all the combined work you put into a relationship , when do you know its nothing that can be fixed and you walk away?  When do you know youve given all you can give and you cant give anymore? When do you reach that point where you know the relationship is not all what its cracked up to be and the two of you are on two different paths?

Now take all those questions and ask yourself ... does this person mean well? Is it that bad? Can it be fixed? Are you making excuses for the other person to yourself?

What happened to real relationships? The kind where its built off respect, trust and growth... what happened to the simple things? Why are we putting in so much time for failure?

The Picture You Paint Can Stain The Heart

I am a single mother and as most single women I have difficulities obtaining help from my son's father. As a mother, I do the very best I can do without his financial support.  I am shocked to learn that not only do women struggle with obtaiing help from their childrens father(s) but they down talk the fathers to the kids. In no way do I feel that is appropriate better yet remotely acceptable. Mothers, children are not your friends... why do you feel you need to talk to them as if they are? Talking to your kids about their dads paint a horrible picture for a child and causes them to be opinionated by the things that you say... be mindful that the things you may not say to them but can be heard by them is a major factor as well. This weekend was a wake up call for me when I saw the attitude of a child who is brainwashed with negativity. It broke my heart. There are a lot of things that I could say about my sons father but  I never have and never will. My son is 10 and he is starting to draw his own conclusions. Thats the way it should be. As a woman... being bitter, childish and uncompromising while raising your kids turns that child into a reflection of you. Raising your kids to think that if they ask for something they should get it turns them into an ungrateful, unresponsible, bitter and later troubled kid. But to literally talk to your child about their other parent (not just moms talking about dads) is harsh and extreme bad parenting and I am completely irritated by it.

Raise your kids with knowledge, hope and positivity. In the end.. they know what you've done on your own and how to feel about the person who did nothing.

Friend or Foe?

By definition a friend is "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:" When I look at my circle of "friends" I completely agree with that definition. I don't have many friends and based on that definition I shouldn't. There is a difference between a friend and an associate. Just because we are associates doesn't mean we are friends. Does that make sense? Once you know me you will find that I am a dedicated person who looks out for both friends and associates even strangers. I'm not an individual who feeds off of drama or entertains foolishness because I feel that the world has enough problems than to add more to it. I have had a rough 2011 and all I need in my life are friends. Real friends. You know the kind that don't run over me, embarrass me or belittle me. I need support... the same support I give. I don't need someone talking behind my back or running around  making me look as if I am this monster trapped in my body. You realize this is why I don't have many friends? The ones I have I would love for them to treat me the same as I treat them. With that being said... if I am not an asset to your life or supporter of the things you do in life...I'm probably not your friend... maybe I am an associate, a co-worker or a complete stranger but please don't categorize me as a friend if I am not. Everyone needs dedicated people in their life who they can call no matter what and if I come off as someone who is not any of that... consider me as something else.

*this message was dedicated to people out there who need that one person and probably are depending on the wrong person.

It's Your Story.....

Why is it that people can see what is wrong with everyone around them but can never look in the mirror and see where it begins. What's funny to me is people can tell you what's best for your life, how to live your life and why you should walk away from certain people in your life but they can't see that for themselves. I guess I just feel some kind of way about a person lecturing and telling me that my choices are bad choices. Ummmm have you viewed your choices? No one is perfect but I would rather be perfectly imperfect with my own choices. What was a mistake for you and what made you do something different is your life story not mine. So yes I understand people trying to be there and just want me to be happy but what makes you think I'm not? What may seem outlandishly ridiculous to you can be the one and only thing that makes me feel complete. With that being said... view your storybook and see if the pages fit together before you start editing another persons.  I say it all the time "if you want your life to be more rewarding... you have to change the way you think".  Remember that "Life is a book; Every day is a new chapter , and Every year is a new series" but this is your storybook... do what's best for you....

Be True to You....

"I'm sorry", "I apologize", "I wish I can take it back".... these words are used when you've destroyed someone by words or actions. But do you mean it? Assuming you have just gotten into an argument with someone and words were expressed out of anger or a email went in so many ways because of the wrong tone. Either way... its exactly how you felt at the time so why are you apologizing? Say what you mean and mean what you say... stop apologizing for whats on your heart.  They say a drunk man's words are truthful words because theres no remorse for what was said.

Do you want Love or a Fairy Tale?

Females grow up watching many fairy tales... Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White and the list goes on. Have you ever really paid attention to those fairy tales? There's an underlined message in these stories ... nothing is perfect even fairy tales have flaws. Think about it. All these characters faced some type of challenge before finding true love. These fairy tales only show women that dreams come true with a little bit of patience. In real life that's the same message but its not over in 92 mins. It can take a lifetime. I'm not male bashing but every man comes with a price. A woman is either putting up with their childish ways, fighting with their past or taking care of them. A woman makes a choice... stick with what they have or move on to the next and dig into that mans problems. With that being said, would you rather live a fairy tale or real life? In real life you will have problems, nothing is perfect and you can live happily while working through those issues or you can live a fairy tale and pretend everything is all good and wind up being unhappily ever after.  The choice is yours......

Questions

February was one heck of a month... death in the family, break ups to make ups, and  birthdays. Now that its calm (of course after the storm) questions rise. There's no right or wrong answer because people use their experiences to help others with their situations. Mentally my mind is traveling to all sorts of places. There were days when I didn't know if I was coming or going. I took a mental break from the world and put things into perspective. The answers to my questions are my answers and I don't expect anyone to tell me that my answers are wrong... its the way I see fit for my life. I have people in my life who I could do without but I choose these people in my life because without them I am not me. Believe it or not, that's my choice. The way I see it..... life is like a multiple choice test...depending on how you read the question determines the right answer. Would I rather life give me all the right choices... yes but that's not how you live. You live to learn and you learn to live. I choose happiness and happiness is the way I answer my questions in life.

Spring Cleaning

When I was young girl my mom use to say... today we are spring cleaning. Awhhh!!!! The sound of that was just awful... clean out the closets, under the bed, make a pile of the clothes that are too small... " I want your room clean". Now that I am grown I realize that spring cleaning is not just for cleaning up that room ... it's also to clear out all that drama, hate, and  bad choices that has brought you no happiness. You see, I did my spring cleaning yesterday and it feels so good.  I got rid of the old meaning people who didn't want to see me succeed, drama, hate, fake friends, and those clothes that just don't fit anymore....I  scrubbed the walls of my brain and I cleared my mind of anything that just doesn't make sense. I washed the outside of my heart and cleared it from all the pain that it has endured.  I disinfected my entire body from all the bad. Today I am clean - free of it all. This time I am going to clean everyday to make sure nothing piles up on me. That cleaning refreshed my soul and now I know I am way too clean to surround myself with a bunch of mess. Do yourself a favor and start cleaning.

~Be Blessed

.... Is It Really a Lost or a Gain?

Wednesday is my favorite day of the week... its my way of knowing I made it through the first 2 days and if I can just make it over this hump then I've accomplished another great (work) week. Boy has this week been a major challenge personally.... I lost someone this week and it was tearing me apart. I felt like I didn't know if I was coming or going through all the pain. I spent hours upon hours crying and wondering "why me" but it wasn't until this morning that I realized just what a blessing this was to me..... You see, you can love someone with everything you have inside of you, give your all when it comes to being there for them and never stop trying when you know it is failing but none of that matters if they wouldn't do the same for you. I know this now but didn't feel this way when the storm was so strong and my heart was tangled through the strong winds. I learned that its calm before the storm and after the storm you have to pick up the broken pieces and start over. Its amazing to me that the storm is over and I feel so rejuvenated. Now I know what I thought was a lost was really a gain. I gained my freedom back, my worries are gone, and my heart isn't hurting. I feel completely happy, refreshed and  most importantly, I  won my own battle. This is my life and I took it back. ... what a breath of fresh air!


Everyone has experienced a break up but have you experienced a real life fresh start after a break up? I did and it feels so damn good. Through all the trials and tribulations I learned that in life you have to "let go, and let god" ... You never know what he has in store for you.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Who is Your Soul Mate?

I saw this and  had to share....

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life…” (unknown)

What Makes a Person Happy?

I was on the phone with a friend that I've known practically my whole life ...she talked about some things that was failing in her life.... but with her being newly married, pregnant with her first child, college graduate, and  wonderful career .... I thought she was smooth sailing. Boy was I wrong. We ended the conversation with a promise to get together soon and talk but before the line disconnected I heard her say "I just want to be happy"......

Its crazy because you can look at a person and be around them on a regular basis and not realize that they're unhappy. I know personally I've gone through some rough spots and continue smiling while maintaining positivity. Its pretty scary because you are actually holding in things which makes the situation more difficult.  When thinking about the things I've been through and hearing her stories I ask myself ....what will make me happy? Is it just one thing or is it a few things? How am I sure that what I think will make me happy will actually make me happy? Man, this is deep. I know I have an idea of things but I can't say those things will complete my happiness. Do we want what others have because we think that's what makes us happy? Money, Fame, Popularity, Appearances.... no one says those things will truly make you happy... I've hears that money brings more problems, fame takes away the fortune, popularity makes you miserable and your appearances can make you crazy if you aren't the way you want to be but what others want you to be...

My only answer to the question I ask myself is if you do less pleasing of other people and while ignoring your needs... if  you spend more time keeping up with the "Jones" rather than what you can afford... if you don't keep trying new things and keeping your mind clear of stress/aggravation ... your soul can never be too happy

That's just the way I see it!

Welcome Me

This is my first post and I just want to introduce myself... My name is Kierstin. I am a mother, a friend and a child of god. I am random, fun, loving and very eventful. I like to think my opinion counts for something. I believe that you can offer advice to anyone but its up to them to take it!